Morgan's Journal

pics

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 23:08:15 GMT

My baby laughed yesterday! It was so cute :) she finally did a 'first' for me instead of Mike i was so excited! Anyway, i put loads of pics of her in her album on bolt so everyone go look please....there doesn't seem to be anyone over there today. I guess that's normal for a Saturday.

Micheal had to get stitches, he cut his hand at work. He has no health insurance...workers comp covered it thank God. I was afraid i would have to leave work but he said he's fine. It's only 3 stitches and mom's home to help him with the babe.

Not much going on with me. At work as usual. We were busy as crap last night, hopefully tonight won't be as bad...it's not looking good though :( More later if i get a chance, i'm too bored to think of anything to type.

update

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 05:25:33 GMT

Short update to the entry i just made....i just pumped a 4oz bottle! I'm so excited, i've never been able to fill up a bottle in one sitting before. The only reason i stopped was because a 4oz bottle is all i have with me, i can tell there's still plenty in there. Normally i can only get an ounce *maybe* 2 and i have to squish my boob a hundred different ways to get that! I guess i know how to do it now...I have to wait until my boobs are about to burst, literally :) My bra is soaked from forgetting my pads, but i had extra so it's ok. That's actually the first time i've leaked besides at night or when i don't have on a bra. I guess i can stop being worried about drying up. It's been two weeks since i got my shot and i still seem to have plenty of milk.

Mike just sent me a text saying my sweet little baby is driving him crazy. He says she's squirming and whiny....classic symptoms of a sleepy baby. I told him to try and get her to take a bottle and bounce her and she should go to sleep. My poor baby i know she wants me :( and poor Mike, b/c i know he's probably really frustrated plus tired from working all day.

***by the way, did anyone notice on my last entry the mood was 'full' and this one is 'drained'? I though that was kinda funny,lol :)***

YUM!

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 04:47:35 GMT

Oh my God, I am in food heaven! McDonald's Fruit and Walnut salad is soooooo good :) I've been getting them like every day, i just can't stop myself! I guess it's a healthy addiction, lol.

Anyway, Paris is doing so good. I can't believe how cute she's getting, she's really starting to fill out finally and not look so 'newborn'. She just started fitting in her 0-3 one piece sleepers, but she still wears newborn diapers....at 7 1/2 weeks old! I guess my little one is just petite, which is fine with me. The longer her clothes last, the longer i can go without buying more. She has a delightful habit of flipping the bird everytime i try to take a picture of her. I have to admit i'm kinda proud, lol :) I really need to post some new pics, just haven't had time.

Work has been going pretty well. Paris is doing great switching between bottle and breast. I haven't gotten to pump at all tonight so my boobs feel like 2 baseballs. I hope i can make it 2 more hours until i get home. Grrr....my milk just let down again. It kinda hurts. Oh god i just realized i forgot to put in nursing pads!!! I think i have extra with me. Geez, i'm a retard. I better go see if i can run in the bathroom and pump a little. Just to get some of the pressure off. I knew i couldn't go 12 hours, i don't know why i tried *rolls eyes at dumb self*

~Back to work~

Fri, 27 May 2005 05:51:59 GMT

Well today is my second day back to work. My second day without my baby :( She had a rough evening yesterday, so did Micheal. My poor baby cried almost the whole time. She didn't want a bottle (she LOVES the booby!). My cousin had her for over 5 hours and all she would take was an ounce of formula. She must have been starving. I had them giving her Isomil advance with iron and she hated it. Mom opened up the can of good start and she ate 4 ounces! I'm so glad my little girl got a full belly, but she was still fussy the whole time for Micheal. I felt so bad for him. Up until now he's just gotten to play with her (besides diaper changes) he's never had to actually take care of her so he was struggling. I was struggling too. I'm amazed i didn't cry or call home obsessively. I brought a little photo album to work and looked at her pictures a lot. I just miss her like crazy :( It's so unfair to her not to have her mommy for almost 12 hours per day. I wish to God i could be a stay at home mom. If i had gotten pregnant like 4 months earlier i wouldn't have my car loan, i wouldn't have my $5000 cash loan, and i wouldn't have 3 maxed out credit cards. I WOULD be able to be a stay at home mom. I could just kick myself for getting into so much debt, b/c it's my daughter who suffers....she deserves a full time mommy. There's no point in blaming myself though. Had i magically known i was going to get pregnant i would have done things differently.

In better news, i hear she did GREAT tonight, i had 2 4oz bottles pumped for her (that's a LOT for me). She doesn't like to take a bottle from Micheal so i'm hoping the breastmilk helped. She took an hour long nap IN HER CRIB for my cousin and a 2 1/2 hour nap in her little chair for my mom. Anytime she will lay in her crib and sleep is a small victory. I LOVE cosleeping (as much as i swore i would never do it) but it's not something i want to do forever so we're trying to get her to sleep in the crib some. Normally she wakes up as soon as you lay her down...and it does NOT work if you lay her down when she's sleepy to try and get her to go to sleep on her own. I don't know what those dumb magazine people are thinking but my baby just doesn't work that way! She won't even fall asleep in her swing. I don't know how the rest of her evening went after Micheal got home, but i hope it was good. He seemed really discouraged last night....and very tired too. My poor guy :(

Well I'm sure everyone would probably rather hear details about my wonderful daughter (instead of a play-by-play of her evenings), so that's what my next few entries are going to be. I need to get down all these things that i don't want to forget about her birth and her first weeks of life. She's just the most spectacular thing i've ever seen. I feel so humbled to have her, i just can't believe she's mine. I never thought i could love a person so much or be so proud of anything in my life.

*Some of my favorite things:
Snuggling with her at night while she's sleeping
The way she smells after a bath (lavender and chamomile)
The little 'ah ha, ah ha' noise she makes when she's knows she's about to nurse
Her big blue eyes looking up at me...like she knows i'm her mom
The way she nuzzles her face in my neck when i pick her up
The way she's playful in the mornings
The look on her face when we play 'This Little Piggy' and i tickle her feet
Watching her and her daddy together
Kissing her palms, neck, and the soles of her feet
The way she calms down when i stroke her hair
Everything about her!! I just love being her mom :)

Well i feel a little better. I get to go home in 33 more minutes, so in about an hour i get to be with my snuggly little princess.

I would be shocked if anyone read this whole thing. I know it's super boring, but i had a lot of thoughts that i needed to get out of my head. I just wish i didn't feel so guilty about working. I keep thinking 'i'll get used to it' but that just makes me feel more guilty....i don't want my baby to get used to her mommy being gone :( This just isn't fair
~Morgan

DST

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 05:53:18 GMT

Every one remember to set your clocks ahead an hour!!!

Still Pregnant

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 04:54:25 GMT

No labor yet!! Every time i get the teensiest little twinge in my belly i'm praying it turns into a contraction, but i'm showing no signs of going into labor any time soon :( The baby is down really far...seriously he or she only has like 3 inches to go, i really thought i would have gone into labor by now. Of course you never can predict these things and i'm not even due for another week. Anyway...

I feel so accomplished. I just finally finished my thank you cards for the baby shower :) It's nice to have that over with....now i just have to remember to get stamps. I'm sure it will be at least two more weeks before i do that, even though the post office is right at the end of my road. Oh well, they'll get done sometime!

Well, I'm off to chew on some ice cubes and enjoy this happy magic marker feeling! Probably shouldn't have done all my thank you cards with a sharpie :)
~Morgan

icon

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 06:57:05 GMT

Just seeing how my new icon looks. It's my babe :) Facial profile from my 13 week u/s. Night! ~Morgan

names

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 06:44:02 GMT

More specifically Middle names....i'm kinda getting down to the wire and i have no clue what the baby's *full* name is going to be. The first names are definitely Paris for a girl and Jude for a boy. I'm including the last name b/c it's hard to find anything that goes with it....so no one stalk my baby please!

Here's what we've come up with so far:

Paris Olivia Betz
Paris Jolie Betz (pronounced the french way like Angelina Jolie)
Paris Averell Betz (like Avril...meaning April, her birth month.)
Paris Natalia Betz

Jude Gavin Betz
Jude Micheal Betz
or Jude Gavin-Micheal Betz
Jude Gavriel Betz (like Gabriel, but the Russian version)
Jude Favian Betz (don't ask, i just liked it, lol!)

We're looking for names that are unique...but not wierd, ya know? More than one middle name is great too, we both agreed on that b/c of how short the last name is. Any thoughts or suggestions are greatly appreciated as there's nothing that really strikes me as perfect yet :(

pics

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 06:15:59 GMT

I'm STILL getting over this cold! I feel soooo much better though :)

Anyway...If anyone would like to see new belly pics, i just updated my Bolt album. It's actually about 2 months worth of pics and some are really cute. I would put them on here, but there's just too many! :)

This week has been pretty much uneventful. Still waiting for labor, my doc says any day now :) I was hoping she would check me at my appointment on Wednesday, but she didn't. Probably will if i haven't had the baby before my appointment next week. Just from feeling on the outside she said the head has definitely dropped. Like i couldn't tell!! Micheal has FINALLY started on the baby's dresser, i hope it will be done in time. I got a bunch of little wooden stars to paint and stick on it, it's going to be so cute :) Now if i could just get my mother to clear out the closet!

Sorry if everyone has read this already, but i don't remember if i posted it on here or not....I got voted dispatcher of the year! I'm very excited, it's so nice to know know my coworkers like me :) Plus i get to go to a huge conference in Denver this summer! I've never been anywhere like that so it will be a really cool experience although it will be hard to leave my little one all week. I also got the highest EMD (emergency medical dispatch) score for 2004 (like 99.9% accuracy) so i *should* be going on a 4 day conference to Baltimore on April 24th, but thats just too soon....really the baby could only be a week old at that point! (if he or she is late). Plus i only get 6 weeks off, i'm not taking a week of it away from my newborn...so i'm not going. I don't think i'm missing out though, i would MUCH rather be snuggling with my new baby than shmoozing with a bunch of strangers at a dispatcher conference. It's not like it's anywhere cool anyway....Mike and i drive to Baltimore to go shopping, it's only an hour away!

Well that's about everything i can think of for now. Hope everyone is healthy and happy....i know some sort of yucky flu has been going around. I hope there's some labor going around too. If there is i wanna catch it! :)
~Morgan

still sick

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 05:54:09 GMT

I'm still sick, but feeling a teensy weensy bit better. I don't remember the last time i had a cold this bad :( My nesting thing has gone into overdrive this week so even though i don't feel well i just can't make myself stay in bed....i have too much energy, i have to obsessively clean EVERYTHING. Weird stuff too. I called off work yesterday, so i figured i would get caught up on laundry. Did i do that?? NO! Instead i spent hours cleaning the washing machine like a crazy person. Who does that??? I think i ended up getting two loads washed, but not folded...i just put them with the other 3 baskets of unfolded clothes in my closet. Unfortunately i'm back at work tonight. I could have used another day off, but i can't afford to use up any more sick leave. I don't have enough as it is :/

I don't really have much else to talk about. I finally got my car back, now i just have to clean it out and get the carseat installed! I can't wait :) :) :) It's going to be so wonderful to put my little peanut in the car and bring him/her home. Hopefully he or she will have a completed room to live in. I don't have much else left to do, but it's nothing i can do by myself :( My mom hasn't gotten her crap out of my closet so i have a big pile of stuff on my floor waiting to go in there...and my beautiful crib has a ton of crap being stored underneath, it looks so tacky. Micheal has made no effort to get started on my dresser, which is also going to be functioning as a changing table so all that stuff is piled up. I'm also still waiting for him to bring up boxes for me to unpack of bathroom stuff. I can't put away all the baby's soaps and bathtub and stuff until i have all our stuff unpacked so i know where it's going to fit in the bathroom. It sucks so bad having to depend on other people to get stuff done. No one else seems concerned that this baby can come any day now. I'm only due in two weeks, thats not very long. Everyone fusses if i pick up anything heavier than my car keys, but no one will lift a finger to help me get anything done. It's freaking ridiculous that my cousin drove an hour to come spend the day with me cleaning up my room and getting things ready for the baby, but my boyfriend and my mom who LIVE with me haven't been able to get 2 simple tasks completed in the past month. Plus Micheal gets irritated that i haven't gotten all of OUR laundry done...not just mine, his too. Like i don't have enough to do at the house, PLUS working full time.

Did i say i didn't have much else to talk about?? Lol! Well i really don't now. Hope everyone is having a good night. I think my little cranky rant is over for now. I really didn't have such a bad week, i'm just getting antsy. My little one is going to be here so soon! :) ~Morgan

sick

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 10:52:46 GMT

I feel like poop :( I'm working a midnight shift tonight, so i was home all day with my mom. She was sick laying on the couch and now I'M sick here at work. I have a sore throat and a runny nose and sinus pressure and i think my sudafed is still packed up....i have no idea where. I have no money to buy any more and that's all i can take, so i'll have to make Micheal search for it. I feel like such a whiny baby right now, but i don't care because i don't feel good. Thank God i'm off until Wednesday!

In other news i'm 37 weeks today. I really feel like this baby is about to fall out! I wonder what's the likelihood that all this sneezing will put me into labor?? I really don't think i'm going to make it to my due date regardless. I keep feeling like something is going to come out...possibly my mucus plug? Every once in a while it feels kinda like when you have a period and a clot is about to pass. Maybe it's just the head moving, i don't know.

My cousin is coming over in the afternoon and *hopefully* we're going to get the nursery done....or as done as possible. I need Mike to strip and repaint the baby's dresser (which won't be until at LEAST next week), so right now his/her clothes are in my dresser. Which means i don't really have any place for my own clothes. My mom still has a bunch of her crap in my closet, but she's sick so i really doubt she's going to be doing anything with it....soooo...i'm not sure exactly what we're actually going to be getting done. We're going to wash clothes and blankets and then put them.....where? Oh well, it will be nice to spent the day with Laura.

Hope everyone is feeling better than me! ~Morgan

Baby Shower

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 01:37:38 GMT

I had my baby shower on Sunday, this is the first day i've been online since. It went sooo great! I had so much fun. The gifts were awesome, Mike and i hardly have to buy anything! My dad sent over my carseat, stroller, AND portable crib/bassinet!!! I had no clue he was getting that much, it was a great suprise! My cousin is coming over this Sunday to help me finish up the nursery....then it's pretty much just sit around and wait for labor :) I'm amazed how fast everything has come together, two weeks ago i didn't have a thing for the baby. I was so worried that i wouldn't be ready in time. It's so nice to be able to relax now before the big day. I really think this baby is going to come early to...He or she has visibly dropped even more this week. Sometimes it feels like the baby's head is almost out! I swear it's RIGHT THERE...it feels so wierd. I feel more, sort of 'open' down there, if that makes any sense. My poor baby has run out of room too, he or she just sort of wiggles around now....theres always a little knee or foot or elbow sticking my side. I still feel great except my feet have started swelling. OMG-I feel like such a dork, i completely forgot my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, i have to call and get it rescheduled. I was so busy it just slipped my mind until today. I guess forgetting one appointment out of nine month's worth isn't so bad though.

Mike and i finally had Puss neutered and declawed (which is why i forgot my appt), he also got all his shots. They said he did really well, and 3 days later he seems almost back to normal. I had the vet check his ear, he's been fussy about it for a few weeks. Mike and i thought it was b/c of ear mites (which we were treating him for), but he actually had a severe ear infection. I feel so bad, if we had known it was something like that we would have had him in to the vet right away...poor guy :(

Well, i think that's about it for me. Hope everyone else is having a good week! ~Morgan

Pretty

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 22:37:12 GMT

I just prettied up my journal. I luv it! :) Nothing interesting to say just yet, maybe later. Baby shower is tomorrow, getting excited!!!

~~Happy~~

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 00:54:46 GMT

This is an update for the past several days... I have had *such* a great week! Mike and i are officially moved into my parents house, and so far it has just been wonderful :) I've been sleeping so much better (even though Mike and i aren't allowed to share a room) The cat seems to be adjusting well, but he hasn't met the other animals yet. He's not allowed out of my room until he's neutered (Monday!) but he hasn't sprayed at all so far....i'm so relieved, i was really worried that he would be peeing all over the place! Well, let's see what's all gone on this week...

Earlier in the week (or maybe last week?) i figured up my bills and EVERYTHING will be caught up by the time i take maternity leave. I have 4 weeks of paid leave, so we should be fine for money...i will only miss one check! As long as baby doesn't come early that is...he or she is beginning to drop :)

Sunday: Shopping! I slept in a little, then Mom and i drove to Frederick to Baby Depot for my baby shower gift. We ended up getting the crib bedding....it's called Sweet Vanilla by Baby Martex and it's absolutely gorgeous! I can't wait to have the baby's and my room done, it's going to be precious! She also told me that she's thinking of having another baby...WOW! My mom's crazy.

Monday: Moving day! It was a beautiful day to move, the weather was perfect...the only day this week it was nice. Mike and i rented a truck and got all the big stuff moved...well, he and Greg got the big stuff moved, i was packing crap all day. Suprisingly our roommate wasn't acting all pissy like we were expecting, he was actually ok with the whole thing. We still have some smaller things to pick up, but we're staying at my parents officially.

Tuesday: Sleep! I needed it bad. I also needed to get some stuff done, but i didn't. Mike got my car taken to the shop, so hopefully i will finally have it back soon.

Wednesday morning: 35 week doctor visit....i'm now going every week! I've been feeling a lot of pressure down below and several people tell me it looks like the baby has dropped. It's getting hard to walk, lol! The doc checked baby's position...the little brat has been fooling me all this time, he or she IS head down. I was thrilled to hear that, i was getting worried that the baby wouldn't turn in time! I also had my cervix checked, my doc said the baby is still pretty high up but that my cervix has softened (she never gives me exact numbers). I had my gbs swab taken (last test!). My blood pressure and all that was good, so we're just waiting for the baby at this point.
Wednesday evening: Suprise shower at work for me!! (ok i kinda knew about it, but i faked well) I was suprised at how nice it was. I got sooo many adorable gifts, and it was really nice to be pampered a little. I'll try to put the pics up soon) I can't wait for my other shower on Sunday :)

Not much exciting has happened since then and this entry is looking pretty long. Hopefully i'll have good news to post on Sunday!! ~Morgan

BoredBoredBored

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 02:40:20 GMT

Ahh...work is so dull tonight. I've had 3 ambulance calls in a row, but that's all I've done in 5 hours!!! I admit, I like it when it's slow b/c then I get paid for playing on the computer, but it would be nice to have SOMETHING to do!

Anyway, Mike's gonna be pissed at me when i get home. I was supposed to go to the bank today to pay my car payment, but i went home for a nap instead. Didn't sleep too well so i should have gotten back up and gone to the bank. When he asked, I told him i wasn't sure when the payment's due or if i'm paying February's payment or March's payment. I feel very bad b/c i was lying. I know EXACTLY when it's due....it's late and i'm only paying for January! I just haven't had the money to pay it. I figured out that if I make a payment now and out of my next 2 checks I'll be caught up before maternity leave. Then out of the next check i can pay car insurance to un-cancel the policy on my eclipse b/c it will be fixed then and i'll be driving it. Then hopefully baby will be here! I have everything figured out, so theres no reason to worry him about it, but he hates being lied to so i really feel horrible :( My bank allows you to apply to skip a payment for a month, so i'm going to skip my car payment for April and my cash loan payment for May....then i should be back to work and i won't be behind. It sucks that i can only take 6 weeks off, but i don't have a lot of sick leave so i think several weeks are going to be unpaid and i can't afford any longer than the minimum. I'm going to try and find another job while i'm on leave, I really don't want to come back here. It's too long of a drive and the hours suck...they were great before, but they don't work for me now. I'm going to miss putting my baby to bed 4 nights a week, those are moments i want to be there for. They grow up too fast as it is, i don't want to miss out on precious bonding time with my baby.

Well I'm just rambling out of boredom. Hope i don't sound like a horrible person for lying to my boyfriend....i don't make a habit of it trust me. I just get tired of hearing him bitch about the bills....complaining doesn't make the money magically appear it just stresses me out more than i already am. I might be back to write some more if anything exciting comes to mind.
~Morgan

New

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 06:13:50 GMT

Well, i'm a little new at this, but everyone else seems to love this site so i'm trying to figure it out. Today i am 34 weeks, 5 days pregnant. I can't believe how fast the time has flown by! I feel good overall, but my back is soo achy, i can't wait to have this baby out of me. I forget what it feels like to not be in pain :( I haven't been sleeping very well, i actually didn't have any caffeine for the past two days but it didn't help at all. Without caffeine or late night snacks i actually slept worse, lol! It's kinda good though, drinking water was upsetting my tummy, so i'm going back to soda. I've gotten really forgetful in my third trimester, i forget my vitamins all the time now (the first two trimesters i only forgot twice!) i feel like a bad mommy but i'm trying to remember them. I know it's normal to be absentminded at this point in pregnancy, so i'm trying not to worry about it too much. Well, i didn't mean to get on here and vent, Mike and i are doing well. I'm having a baby shower on the 13th and i'm soooo excited! Plus a 'little birdy' told me that my work is throwing a shower next Wednesday. Not to sound selfish, but Mike and i need as much free stuff as possible. We're struggling a little bit with the bills right now and two showers means twice as many presents! This pregnancy has been wonderful health-wise...i couldn't have asked for anything better, but we've been stressed in so many other areas it will be really nice to be a little spoiled for a day. I'm so happy and so excited, i've been looking forward to this shower all month. Hopefully the weather will cooperate, it's impossible to get up the driveway at my mom's in the snow :( Well i think that's about it for now, i'm going to go see what all the bolt ladies are doing before i go home.
~Morgan :)

Morgan's Journal

*pics*

update

YUM!

~Back to work~

*DST*

Still Pregnant

*icon*

names

*pics*

*still sick*

*sick*

*Baby Shower*

Pretty

~*~Happy~*~

BoredBoredBored

New

pics

DST

icon

pics

still sick

sick

Baby Shower

~~Happy~~